It’s That Awkward Silence When You Ask Me…

 

blackboard question
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Awkward

A simple Google search on “awkward moments” will bring up a whopping, gazillion sites claiming the Top 20, Top 10, and Top 31 awkward moments we face. Well, my awkward moment could be considered blasphemy, and it would have been placed in my personal journal but I decided to publicize it: I have awkward moments when someone asks me if I am a Christian. Here are my reasons.

First, before you think it is because I am ashamed of my Lord and Savior, I implore you to believe that is not the case. The problem is I have very slim good experiences with Christians. I think we can commend them for the food and clothing programs, but many can be very rude and I remember a church’s deacon avoiding me and my husband at a cookout because we once asked for a little financial assistance, but they did not avoid us when we donated money and paid “tithes and offerings” beforehand. Christians tend to be church folk and do what is most easy and comfortable for them.

A pastor told me that helping someone in need and expecting those in the church to lend a hand is “Secular thinking”. to Telling the person to pray to Jesus is more appropriate…according to him.

That is reason number one.

If you ask me if I am a Christian, I may clam up and kind of shoot my eyes left and right so I won’t look at the judgment in your gaze. Yes. Awkward moment of silence there but I will not apologize for it because of reason number two.

Reason number two for my awkwardness when asked if I am a Christian, is the history of Christianity. Let me put it bluntly. A few years ago, I would proudly say “I am a Christian” and I even put it on the About Me page here-proudly. But I live a filmy residual, ghost-like kind of life of intersectionality: I am Black. Female. Christian. At any time, I have to be all three.

Blacks had Christianity whipped into them. Women, in the bible and in churches are not seen as powerful, productive light(unless it’s the infamous unattainable goal of being the Lady of Proverbs 31).

Moving on, I may ignore you if you are a Christian and talk too much, too loud, and too harshly about certain groups of people you are uncomfortable with. Count me out. I am not going to bash the LGBTQI community. I will not say the “poor need to pull up invisible bootstraps”, I will not think that the only people on earth who need help is across the globe- we all need help all over the globe, maybe in different stages and degrees.

Point blank, you may hear me moan, groan, tap my foot, tap my pen or ignore you if you come at me with questions about Christianity.

Just kidding. I’m not that mean, but there may be an awkward silence for a moment.

Don’t know why this topic of Awkward made me spill all these beans, but there you have it.

~Ericajean

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