Warning for an alien arriving to earth for the very first time

Alien in Spotlight |Microsoft Images

I am not writing a book on aliens, but today while brushing my teeth, a thought bloomed in my mind: With so much going on in the world, what would I tell an alien visiting earth for the very first time? How would I prepare (it?) for its stay? This is assuming the alien is kind and/or objective, of course!

  1. When you first arrive, prepare to be explored, poked and prodded. Your ship, family, your dignity(if you have it) will be confiscated. Please watch the movie Super 8 to know what I mean.
  2. When you first step on our grounds, yes it is plush green grasses-depending on where you are. If you are in Virginia, Georgia, or some anywhere on the East you will find lush green grass, along with a mountain chain-the Appalachian that stretches in a long yawn going up through Maine. On the West side of North America you will find Nevada, California, New Mexico- dry desert areas. If you land somewhere else, like Europe, Russia, China, Japan you will be brought forth to a time in history that still stands, beautiful cathedrals, hundreds of different languages and more. If you land in Africa…well, it’s dry, hot, colorful and some still say its the hearth of humankind.
  3. Prepare to be looked upon in two ways: a) as a savior, or b) as someone different to be used, or feared. If humans choose you as their savior it will come with consequences. First of all we are a very unforgiving, very hotheaded bunch and if you can’t do for us right away we melt in anger and hostility. We feel we deserve so much more in life and yet we hurt each other. Jesus proved who he was in history and performed miracles it wasn’t enough, people did not believe in him and he was killed.  However if we view you as different, we may use you, enslave you and if you decide to breed(if the government allows it) we may treat your kind the same way. Your kind if at first amicable may become mean and hateful after learning from us. That’s just how it is and yes it is tragic. For many years you and your kind will feel the ripple effect of our hate and it will scare us more so than you- so much so that we may arm ourselves or gate up our communities to keep you out. Just a fair warning.
  4. On to pleasant stuff: Do you eat food? What kind? Earth has a  plethora of food bearing upon the ground, producing its own seed with much cultivation. Careful though, some plants are poisonous. Animals are available as food too- just heat and eat. Many places called the “grocery store” have food where it is already prepared and so you may microwave and eat. Watch a lot of the travel or cooking channels to know what I mean, or just a good family movie.
  5. What is your favorite thing to do? Here on earth, the sky is the limit. If you like to climb, jump from a mountain, barbecue out back, gather friends for a book review, go see a movie, hunt, drink and be merry- you can. Just heed the laws which are ultimately for your protection.
  6. Finally, what is your belief system? Many people have their own theories as to why we are here. Do you know why we are here? Maybe you’re the perfect one to ask. Okay, I digress: In America there are many belief systems called religions, ranging from Christianity to Atheism and everything in between. Me? I believe in God and his son Jesus- and I am NOT religious. But you will meet many fine folks who don’t claim a religion but are good, decent human beings.

I hope this helps you out just a little. If you get lost, get a GPS system and you’re probably better off finding my place first instead of landing somewhere on the globe where you will be found and what will happen with you I clearly do not know. Sky’s the limit.


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