When words are not enough, the weakness of it in time of loss

Me and my husband just got back from a funeral today and the community, the world will surely miss the gentle young man and his smile. I sat in the church today and looked all around me. Some people I haven’t seen in years: they are grown up now with children, full figures, beards and a new walk. They appear more serious now and are not the little children I knew once before. It was downright scary, serious, but wholly the cycle of life was written on their faces.

I smelled the sweetness in the sanctuary, that smell of cologne, or lotions…but I call it love. Some faces were dry but were deep in thought over what happened. Some faces were drenched in tears needing to be wiped away. Needing for someone to shout, “It was all just one bad dream! We’re in it together but we can wake up and our dear friend will be here once again!”

But I know it is real.

The preacher focused on some terrifying but real thoughts. We need to love today. Repent to God today. Tomorrow or even the next hour is not even promised to us and so this I knew already.

But what I didn’t know was how hard it could be to form words for how we feel. It never seems…adequate. Should we even worry over what to say in a eulogy? Is it important? Some got up with a beautiful poem(poetry cuts close to the words we need), some shared advice, some shared funny memories(which lighten the mood some), and others gave what God had to say in His Word(which was Truth) and so I now ask myself. What are the words I can say aloud to the someone who is no longer physically here?

I can start by saying how I knew the person but then it will be a thought bouncing back to the person no longer being here.

I can start by telling a funny story about the person, but then new memories would not ever form. I clasp the old ones to my heart, the eternal memories.

I can quote the Bible, but it works during my time of joy and the words never truly stick until I am at the point of unbearable pain and must seek the ancients, the sages, the high priests of old to say for me what I cannot.

All these things I can say, and it will always be inadequate…

Inadequate meaning, it doesn’t ever compare to We Will ALWAYS Miss You.

And even that doesn’t place a balm to our pain.

I leave this with you all: The words you have for someone today- share them. If they are words that are hard to chew, dress it in love. Tell someone you love them so much today and watch the meanings fall upon them like  summer rain and even if they don’t say it back to you right away- it sunk into their living, breathing souls.

It did.


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