Haiku…a struggle for a poet who says too much

Windy Day by Irina Baldina, Image courtesy of wikipedia.org

It is always okay to present yourself with a challenge. This season, I have been challenging myself with Haiku. Something that seems so simple to make, but has multiple interpretations, elements of surprise, and takes time and meditation to create.

I will say right now, that haiku for me can be difficult but it doesn’t have to be. As a storyteller and free verse poet, it does present its problems because Haiku only takes a the briefest snapshot of life and you must present it well enough for it to make an impact on reading.

For example, here is one I worked on recently…

 

Hurried turquoise kites…

Blue wind

Slaps bargain hats

It appears the haiku is not making sense but if you can visualize whats happening, you can see that it must be a windy Spring day and people are flying kites everywhere while a strong gust of wind blows men’s hats off. Pretty simple, right?

But what is the emotion you get? Does it trigger a memory? A future? Either way it seems the message is folks are gathered together in the strongest winds, fighting nature and enjoying it at the same time.

This is what I have so far. Stay tuned for more on my challenges with haiku, a little background on its origins and some masters of the haiku we can all learn from.

‘Was Blind and Now I See’ a poem of what the night reveals

Image courtesy of biorust.com

While it is night, I can see

your eyes better

and while twilight merges on the brain

I can clearly see the moon- and

it points a beam at my window

at your hair and neck in

my room-

morning means Awake and

Joy

Night is when the stars twinkle more

and I finally trace Orion’s Belt

and learn to see the Dipper.

The purple beetle

and large eyed orange cat

return this time underneath

my flat-

And it is quiet that I hear the

light so much the more

A look at ‘Love Song of a Girl’, a Xhousa(South African Poem)

Photographer/ Ken Lund

I read an interesting poem in an anthology last night and just thought I’d share a few thoughts about it here. Before my commentary on it, here’s the beautiful poem.

Love Song of a Girl

The far-off mountains hide you from me,

While the nearer ones overhang me.

Would that I had a heavy sledge

To crush the mountains near me.

Would that I had wings like a bird

To fly over those farther away.

[Translated by A.C. Jordan]

This very brief poem packs a punch and is kind to our modern hearts and slices our minds into a historical half. A time before modernity, a time where even love had boundaries We still wish to “smash mountains” to get our way at love. So here, I will focus on the emotion of the poem and imagery, briefly.

On initial reading, I understand what the speaker means. There are metaphorical mountains in our way and we would do anything to cross over and achieve our goal of reaching our lover. The speaker admits the mountains are a bit much, “While the nearer ones overhang me”, in the thesaurus, overhang means also to hang over something. So as the speaker laments that her love is far off behind the mountains, her own mountains overhangs her.

Another emotional piece is when the speaker uses action: “Would I had a heavy sledge/ To crush the mountains near me.” She grows tired of the mountains in her way and wishes for a drastic way to rid the world of these confiscating conundrums.

The emotionality of the poem could not have been achieved without a clear picture of mountains, hanging, sledge hammers, wings of birds and of someone flying. All of these terms are what love feels like.

Love feels like a bird and the mountains are forever high to climb and too mighty to break down. A person could be hiding themselves from us…and we use a sledge(metaphorically speaking) to break down those barriers. We talk to one another, wine and dine, we dance, we make love, and then we fight and our mountains grow ever higher.

This may be an ancient poem, but I get what it means.

What other poetic devices do you see being used here? What does the poem say to you?

I’d love to hear your thoughts!